This week has been really frustrating. I have had two tests and now I have 3 papers due in the very near future. I think I posted before about how I feel like school is sucking away my life and this week has definitely proved my point. Since I need a lot of sleep my day is only 15 hours long. After you take away 7 hours for school, 1 1/2 hours for after school activity and 1/2 hours or 45 min for dinner, that leaves about 2 or 3 hours for other stuff. Since homework takes about 2 of those hours that leaves me one hour or less to do something I like and devotions. Ugh. Today it just really got to me because all I did after school was go for a run and shower but it was already 5:15. I started homework and worked till dinner then worked till now (9:00) and I am waiting on a phone call from a friend so they can help me with something I haven't done yet. What was really frustrating is that Wednesdays are small groups so you aren't supposed to have so much homework but I couldn't go because I had a million things to do. It made me really mad because I know that when I get to Heaven, my school work is not going to matter ONE SINGLE BIT!!! Especially not Music Appreciation, History and Math. I guess Bible will matter but thats the only class I even like. I can't wait to get to ministry college where what I learn applies to how to help people! Anyways, I was telling my dad about this and he was saying how you just have to put a limit to the time you are going to spend on school and just not worry about the rest. He told my to look at my syllabuses and see what stuff affects my grades the most and then take a zero or two when I'm overwhelmed. I thought that sounded like a good idea but that still doesn't solve the fact that I feel stuck wasting my time on school when I want to be doing stuff that actually makes a difference for the kingdom of God. I feel like if I died tomorrow, I would be really disappointed in my life because most of it was spent doing math and English. I am not like anti-school but I really believe in experiential learning and learning stuff that actually applies to what you want to do with your life. And the worst thing is, I can do absolutely nothing to change the situation I am in except get worse grades by not doing stuff. That does not appeal to me because I really like feeling smart and getting good grades and qualifying for the National Honors Society. Does anyone else have this dilema or am I alone on this one too? UGH! It makes me mad to even think of all the hours I have spent doing stuff I will never use! Ok I am going to stop before I go into rebellion mode.

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