blog

Call Me Maybe

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 19:48:11 +0100

#letsgetpraisy

Addicted

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 19:46:36 +0100

John 4
#letsgetpraisy

Big Butts

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 19:39:54 +0100

God saw all the He had made and it was good. It's in the Bible guys.
#letsgetpraisy

too much.

Sun, 20 May 2012 21:06:52 +0100

my goodness those two words just sum it all up. with everything going on lately, the past few weeks have just been too much. this is evidenced by the fact that I have taken 2 out of the maybe 5 non-sickness-induced naps of my last 10 years of life. WOW.

let me set the stage here. my parents had 30 days to decide whether we would be staying in Chicago and they would be finding new jobs or moving to Florida so we could stay with Campus Crusade. so while the fate of where I spend my senior year is in question, I am also finishing up the 2nd semester of my junior year of high school which some people say is the hardest semester of all. add to that the self-inflicted pressure of trying to make sure I make everyday count as far as relationships go since I didn't know whether I would be staying here next year or not. pardon me if I'm wrong but academic stress and trying to work on relationships does not go well together. also, I was having some problems with a close friend which did not help because then I didn't know who to talk to throughout the day.

this does not even begin to describe all the emotions, both sub-conscious and conscious, that have been flowing in and mostly out of me. I have never been so grumpy in all my life (well maybe that is an exaggeration but still) and I have had a few days where I just fell apart and sobbed. oh joy!

thank the Lord I have had many many people praying for me and encouraging me. don't know what I'd do without them.

unfortuantely, I have not made time to be in God's word everyday through all this and that is something I really regret because all in all we go through stuff to get closer to Him right? it's kind of a waste if I don't even try.

and I'm sorry that my posts aren't fun and light and stuff. I mainly just use it as a journal. but I will try to post some pictures and some of my poetry soon :)

8 months worth. aka put on your seatbelt and get ready for the ride.

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 22:45:55 +0100

hey y'all. if anyone even still reads this. this is gonna be crazy long. but hopefully you will be as inspired as I am to see what God is doing in my life and in the lives of those around me.

so last time I wrote I was gearing up for school starting. wow! that feels like years ago. basically I put on my outgoing shoes and gave it my all, trying to show only the best side of myself all the time. as you can guess it didn't quite go that way as getting up at 5:30 am to get ready didn't quite settle with me and I often showed up looking like a train wreck and in the emotional state of, I don't know, a pregnant woman. but that's the beauty of it. I was forced to realize that I do not have the ability to be perfect all the time. and I saw that people still loved me and accepted me no matter what. I have never in my life experienced that kind of support before. I felt constant love from the girls on my volleyball team (they were mostly freshmen and sophomores since I was on JV). when I had my first very serious low blood sugar (more about health later) during a tournament game they surrounded me and encouraged me at my worst. like I said I have never had that kind of group of friends before. I loved getting to know people from different groups and grades- even though that kind of thing is not as normal at this school :). also i have never been so open with guys and have loved having guy friends- they are so much fun and way less dramatic than girls (well some of them :/).

I got really close to the only other new girl in our grade, Abby, and though there have been ups and downs as with any friendship I am so blessed to have gotten to share life with her. haha we are the type that are together all the time and still always have something to talk about. so great.

something I was really looking forward to about living in this area is getting to see our cousins a lot- mainly the one I'm closest to who is my age, John. my expectations for how much time we would spend together were quite unrealistic and I had to deal with my disappointment and face the fact that I had put too much importance on that dream. we all see each other at holidays which fills my heart right up with love and joy. added benefits are seeing John at school regularly and getting to tease him or what have you. it's pretty great in a different way than I had expected (haha especially considering that a serious girlfriend entered the picture!). the whole experience has definitely grown me and I am thankful for it.

another unrealistic expectation was that I would be spending every spare moment babysitting, serving underprivileged people in downtown Chicago and building my relationships with my family. HA! In reality it took me forever to get just one babysitting job, I have not sought/been able to serve near as much as I thought (although I did do a J-term class where that was all we did which I LOVED! and I have been working in Cubbie's/Sunday school at church and our family has some underprivileged girls that we mentor), and my family has been busy with sports and other activities. but again God has turned what I thought was a failure into something beautiful. since our family is not always together we have gotten along better and really appreciated the time we do spend together. also, my sister and I who have never been able to be together for long because of the way we know how to hurt each other so badly, we have become best friends. she has looked to me for advice, support and someone to talk to and I hope that I have used my words for building up and encouragement. also I have had some good bonding times with my brother, Dad and Mom either in the car, on a walk, or in a bedroom late at night. it just means so much more to me than it used to. I cannot thank the Lord enough.

another aspect of this year has been my spiritual life. I don't want to get into all the nitty gritty since we all know that our relationships with God look different from day to day. I think last year I was super solid in my faith because I invested so much time into it and it meant a lot to me. this year has been different because of the fact that my two times of the day that I used to spend with Him (right when I woke up and right before I went to bed) are now my worst times of the day. I barely have time to make it out the door as it is, so adding time in the morning is difficult and honestly hardly ever happens. At night I am tired and know that my alarm will be ringing shortly so sometimes I rush through it or skip it all together. yes, I do realize this is the worst thing to delete from my day and I am working on it :) we have been so blessed to be a part of Harvest Bible Chapel this year where the preaching and worship has really been my source of spiritual food during the week. Also my school has really good chapels that help me refocus on God in the midst of everything else. unfortunately I have not found a good small group of girls that I feel comfortable with and can find community with at least at church so that is something I am really missing. overall I think I have let a lot of the world to crowd my life and I need to re-center my life on the Word of God and fellowship with His people.

by worldly things I mean mainly my iPhone and all that it allows me to get distracted by plus also having so much more access to TV. I cannot even count the hours I have spend getting lost on blogs, websites, facebook, random apps etc...just because my iPhone gets internet access anywhere and I make use of that feature way too much. oh and lets not forget texting- not that it is a waste of time but that many conversations that I should have had over the phone or in person have happened over text and have not turned out well or were just not worthwhile. and there are just wayyy too many good TV shows in this country. its killer. so self-control has been something I'm workin on too :)

Harvest Christian Academy, the school I have been attending, is quite a unique place. It is very small, sometimes too small, but quite a community. the dynamics are quite interesting and I am sure I don't even know the half of it! sometimes I hate it and sometimes I love it- depends on the day. some of the teachers are easier to work with than others and some classes are flat out terrible. but that happens at every school for sure.

as for my health, its been quite a journey. not all of you know this but last year I worked really hard on getting as healthy as possible and in turn I also looked the best I have since puberty hit. I was confident and ready to keep it going forever but then something called an incredibly emotionally taxing move happened and it all went downhill from there. I have gained all the weight back (though most of it is just water weight due to the bloating I have when I eat carbs) and I have not made good choices about my eating and exercise habits. that has been quite discouraging but its just so hard to have the lifestyle I had last year in my schedule now. but I need to take care of my body no matter what so that is another thing I am working on.

now for the real reason I am here :) the future. its lookin pretty scary if you ask me. I know us Christians are never supposed to be afraid and always supposed to trust God for everything but when it comes down to it, living that out is incredibly difficult. a few weeks ago, my parents told us that we would not be returning to Germany, our "home". that was a big bomb of news but little did we know the ripple effect of that decision. now our mission organization is telling us that if we want to stay on staff with them we have to move to Florida to be a part of a program that is designed for missionaries in transition. we have heard nothing but good things about the program and are sure that it would have many benefits. BUT it is going to be my senior year and I finally like high school and I finally have a lot of good friends and I finally have more confidence. so that would be extremely hard. plus we have family here, my dad has a small group at church that he loves and my mom is taking a class that she loves. whew! how in the world is this decision going to be made? LOTS AND LOTS OF PRAYER!!! to say the least. yep. sometimes I feel like I should be given grace at school and stuff because of all that is going on in my life but truth is everyone has their trials and we all just have to deal with it. I am thankful that my family cares so much about me and that I have a very powerful, Sovereign and incredibly loving Lord and Savior. and He sure deserves some praise from me for all He has done and is doing in this crazy life of mine. so here it is: PRAISE THE LORD WHO WAS AND IS AND IS TO COME AND NEVER CHANGES NO MATTER WHAT!! WHO LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT! WHO LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT! AND WHO I CAN TALK TO NO MATTER WHAT! amen. He is soooo good.

well folks that is all I have for today and maybe for a little while. but you can be sure I will be documenting the way God moves in our lives because really life and blogs are not about us, are they? they are all. about. Him. I hope that is true here every single time.

much love,
Daughter of the one and only King

Moving- in more ways than one.

Sat, 13 Aug 2011 18:35:21 +0100

well its about time I got around to writing an update. but i'm not really sure what to say. we still don't have a house so thats tough on everyone but we are loving the chance to live next door to my cousins for a couple weeks which i have dreamed of for years but never thought I would get the chance. i'm also getting nervous about volleyball tryouts starting monday and a few back to school parties that i will be attending because that means that there is no backing out. i'm gonna have to jump in and put my best foot forward and hope that people see Something (Someone) good in me. i have no idea what the next week/month/year will hold but i do know that God is here as always. i also know that i have amazing parents here to support me and great cousins who will be there no matter what. and that is enough for me. two things i do know are that i got a babysitting job with more to come which is a big answer to prayer and i also came out of the guidance counselor's offfice with a schedule i love. praise the Lord. and for now while my dad shops online for houses, a car and furniture i will enjoy these precious moments i have been given. one day at a time.

another thing i wanted to say is that i am beginning to not see the point of this blog. only like 2 people read it and i write/post most things on facebook anyways. so until i see a reason to resume, my updates and pictures will be posted on facebook where all my friends can see them. i hope you have enjoyed what you have read on here and it will continue just in another place. i love you all.

Picture update

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 19:05:50 +0100

Cute puppy dog that we had to leave for the month :(

I was trying to take a picture of me and Abbie but it came out like this and I thought it was cool.

Natey (a boy I nannied) and I at the Kids' Museum

I had the boys run across a baseball field for exercise and Natey (the little one) fell behind
so his big brother Noah ran back to help him get across. I thought it was so sweet!!!

So cute!!! (Pardon the finger)

Life as a nomad...

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 18:52:48 +0100

...is quite interesting and frankly, tiring. Every day is different, no routine, no norm. The other day I was singing the song "So Sick" but I substituted my own words: "Oh yes I'm so sick of packing, so sick of this. So sick of not knowing where I will be next". While that may not be the most positive outlook on my situation, that was how I honestly felt. I have repacked my bag at least 5 times in less than a month! It is definitely a crazy time in our lives. It doesn't help that we still don't have a place to call home but I am trying to rely on God and trust that He has a great plan in store for us. I'm pretty sure that He is trying to teach me that lesson through this.

While this lifestyle is hard, there are definitely some benefits. We get to eat out a lot since we are always on the go and we get to hang out with a lot of old and new friends. We have also had the chance to stay in some really nice places- like right now we are in an amazing condo in the mountains. And starting this weekend, I will be at a conference where I will get to have more of a schedule as well as see some friends from BFA. Yay!

I guess for now I will just have to try to hang in there and find time with God in the little moments so that I don't end up killing any of my family members (we have had some close calls :)). The one thing I know is that God is good and so are His plans so He must have us here for a reason.

Supernanny (not!)

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 23:52:45 +0100

In case you didn't know, I have been enjoying a 2-week nanny job. I have been staying with a family that has 2 boys- the oldest, Noah, is 5 and the other one, Nathan, is 2 1/2. They are both precious although they definitely have their moments (like when they are hungry or tired or their smoothie spills). The mom is also expecting another baby which is one of the reasons I'm here since she gets really tired. I do a lot of playing and reading and supervising and I love it!! I can't wait till I can upload pictures and videos of them! I am really glad I got this experience- it has taught me a lot and given me the chance to help out in a sometimes big way.

Glimpse

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 16:15:13 +0100

As the plane landed, instead of cheering I wanted to cry. All of the sudden everything hit me like a brick- I wouldn't be spending time with any of my friends or babysitting my favorite kiddos or going for runs in the beautiful German country side for a whole year. Not only that but I was leaving behind everything that I knew for a life of unknowns and instability. That really freaked me out. Suddenly, I didn't wanna be in this country. Even seeing all the familiar and well-loved stores didn't get me excited. All I wanted was to reverse time and be back in the place I have lived for so long. I wanted to go home. But I knew that there was no turning back now and I had to embrace the fact that this year was gonna be a long leap of faith. I knew I had to just place everything in God's hands because He is the only One who can take care of it. I bowed my head into the seat in front of me and said a prayer for each member of my family as they go through this transition and also for me that I would be able to trust Him and that His will would be done in our lives. It was hard but I knew there was no other way.

Yesterday was pretty cool. If it was a glimpse at what this year will be like then it will be a very good year. We got to tour a school that we are hoping to go to and I fell in love. It was an amazing campus, the principal was really godly and kind, the staff we met were really caring and I heard lots of amazing things about the students. Not to mention the fact that my cousin goes there which would be super fun. The gym facility was amazing and I could totally picture myself playing volleyball there and using the equipment for gym classes and attending my cousin's basketball games. The course selection was a dream come true with a bunch of classes that I thought I would never get a chance to take and amazing opportunities to train for future careers. All I could say when I left was "If I go to this school, I won't wanna leave!!!!"

After we left the school we went to my cousins' house. We got to hang out and see Abbie again and I got to take her for a walk in the woods off-leash which was another dream come true because I wasn't sure if there would be a place to do that here.

When I got back from the walk, we all took off to watch my cousin's basketball game (something I had been wishing for all year) and then my parents told me that there was open gym volleyball at the school and that I could go if I wanted. I had a really hard time making a decision because I wasn't sure if I was ready to jump in and meet possible classmates and teammates but my uncle reminded me that if I could go to Africa, I could go to open gym so I decided to go. This meant wearing my aunt's exercise clothes and spending the night at my cousins'. When we went out to eat I didn't order anything because I was so nervous and I didn't talk much in the car. When we got to the gym I was so nervous that I thought I was gonna throw up! John (my cousin) practiced his bball while we waited and then I got introduced to some other girls. They were really nice and I even helped set up the net. I was standing around as people started playing pepper to warm up and I didn't know who to be with but just then a really nice girl asked if I wanted to be her partner, saving me from an awkward moment. It was really fun playing with someone who could actually return passes and I had fun. Before we started scrimmaging, the coach introduced me and had the girls say their name. I felt like the girls were all welcoming and understanding which was very relieving. During scrimmage I felt like I played well which was good and the other girls were helpful and encouraging. The only hard thing was not knowing my role since I had never practiced with them before. After scrimmage, we got to share prayer requests and someone prayed for them and since the coach had told everyone about our lack of housing, she prayed for my family. That made me feel really cared for even thought these people just met me. The drills we did were uncomplicated which I was very thankful for and other girls helped me out whenever there was something I didn't know. All of them are a lot more experienced (or at least they know better vball lingo) but I felt like our skill levels were similar. When it was over, we all left the building and my uncle pulled up so I said goodbye to everybody and I was pleasantly surprised when they all responded. I really hope I get to be a part of that team!!

So, if everything goes the way I want it to, this year has the potential to be amazing. And if it doesn't go my way then I will just have to trust God that He has something even better in store. Please pray for us to find a house very soon!!